Reflections: A Farewell To 2021
Adapt
Such a sly word if one might ask. A word so often misused or misconstrued, it might as well be synonymous with “hope”.
2021
Just like all the years before it, it is just a timestamp of the 2021st year after some arbitrary “zeroth” year. Yet, somehow it managed to take in so much meaning and purpose despite being just a number.
My mind has collected hundreds of thoughts and reflections that came to me unexpectedly. Much so that I have changed my perspective — one that has been with me for two decades — and at the center of this change is the word “adapt”.
Here are a few of these reflections and thoughts that I think everyone may agree with.
Plan For Failure, Not For Perfection
I have always been taught that planning things out with special attention to even the most minute of details results in a perfect outcome.
In the field of research in which I am in, I acknowledge this so much that whenever a research project begins, I tumble and mumble on every imperfect detail in the plans.
To my disappointment, it doesn’t always come out great.
That’s when I realize that planning for perfection does not always result in a perfect outcome.
There is no such thing as a perfect plan where you have to take all the possible things that can go wrong and have a solution when it happens. There must be an infinite number of these!
That’s when I realize that, not just at work but in life in general, adapting and appropriately reacting to things that are not part of the plan is way better than preparing for infinite possibilities.
After all, a plan is not a set of laws but a simple guide to lead your course of action.
Let It Be, Let It Pass
2021 for me is ending in grief.
Jigger, my lovely angel sent to earth, passed away due to old age and the complications alongside it.
I have experienced a few deaths of loved ones in my time here but none as painful as this.
He was my lifeline after all.
When I began my journey to recovery from Major Depressive Disorder, he was the sole console I had. He knew how to just listen and not say a word (because obviously, he can’t 😅) and that’s why he was the perfect remedy.
He was there when I was at my lowest. He was there when I was at my highest. Throughout, he was there.
And so the grief and sorrow and unexplainable sadness I felt, and am still feeling, is almost unbearable if it were not for the reminder that he has left.
Grief never leaves you not even if you live long enough. It will be a constant companion, though it won’t be as strong as when you first felt it.
His physical absence is almost crippling but his life’s work will forever be stamped into my being that moving forward would be less grueling.
He has taught me a lesson simply by being my lovable and adorable pet and that is I can navigate through rough storms if I just let it be and let it pass by.
I have him to thank for this.
Nothing Goes Your Way All The Time
I’ve imagined my year when 2021 started: excellence at work, mental and financial stability, and being emotionally healthy.
Yet here I am, almost jobless, financially struggling, mentally exhausted, and emotionally unstable.
What this year has taught me is that none of these things are bad. But it will be a different story if I just let these be.
As I’ve already learned, planning out a perfect outcome is impossible. So, in 2022, the only plan I have is to plan a guide — one that doesn’t dictate, one that doesn’t mandate.
It lessens pain from expectations, it lessens stress from overexertion.
I’ve also let myself hang loose emotionally and mentally this year. I just pray that I will continue to be this way though I also retain some level of awareness that nothing ever stays the same.
The important thing is to adapt and react appropriately to what comes your way.
It does help void you of expectations and the pains accompanied by them.
May our 2022 be a year of strength and grace, to adapt, and to prepare us for things that are coming our way.
Happy New Year!
